Well, It's About Damn Time!

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

"Hi!  My name is Faith Margaret and I watch Scandal."  I enjoy it.  Thoroughly…and will blog  right here about all new episodes on Thursday nights beginning next week.  Oh!  Your theories about what is happening next in this suspenseful show are welcomed along with my musings.

Annnnd, she’s back!  Shonda starts the 4^th season off with…  Well, y’all saw it.  *fanning self & crossing my legs*  Jake is still not hot.  Sorry, ladies.  But the scruffy beard added a little “something something “ to his overall look.  We all know Julia “Jules” Baker can’t make it out there on a private island with a man and not a care in the world without being dragged back into the fray. 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of that foine brotha, Harrison that wore the tight pants and suspenders and talked really, really fast while staring intently in your eyes.”  Damn!  Damn!  Damn!  Maybe Columbus Short can now have several seats in his real life and get himself together.  Shonda gave him a proper send off

In memoriam...

though with the Queen of Soul singing in the background.  Who knew Harrison grew up in a group home?!?  The gang all showed up to pay their respects, even Command.  And the show moves on… 

And we’re back!  Cyrus got a makeover and some…hair.  Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down?  Is that Ellen Degeneres’ wife, “what’shername” playing a role on Scandal?  Lizzie Bear?  What exactly is her role, though?  They said she was on Twitter and I hardly recognized her.  Cyrus breaks the news to the POTUS about his forbidden lover returning to DC.  That just throws a wrench into Cyrus’ plan to run the country with the POTUS standing behind the podium. 

That damn Quinn is back!  Ugh!  It’s been what, 5 months and I still don’t like her.  And she is going to make up the revised, “Olivia Pope & Associate” as the first member of the team to find their way back home.  Huck is having a hard time (and sporting a horrible bowl cut) doing a little spy work as a Geek Squad guy, “Randy The Smart Guy” at the Smart Counter.  How.  Pitiful.  Was.  That??!  Ohhhh, but he is still Huck despite the name change.  And Randy The Smart Guy is the reason why Olivia is going to have to come back for good.  He is her baby.  Like, literally.  Her first project.  The original gladiator!  

Now Abby is the Press Secretary looking mighty in charge and doing her best to imitate THE Olivia Pope?  Ole fake a@! “O-Wishia!”  Fly handbag, cute dark coat and all.  Poor imitation.  And Olivia read her up and down for attempting to throw shade her way, turned on her heels and did the Olivia Strut.  She’s baaaackkkk!!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!  Mellie is out of control strolling the White House halls with her usually perfectly coiffed hair, clad in Uggs, baggy sweats and some flowing Japanese kimono as she eats sugary cereal right out the box.  I literally laughed out loud!  And then felt crappy as I watched her lay on the grave of the son she struggled to connect with because she thought he was Big Jerry’s seed.  *moment of silence*

So, the POTUS tried to kill himself and Mellie saved him?  That will come up again later this season.  “Madam First Cray Cray” keeps a Chanel handbag full of the skeleton bones of the POTUS and one never knows when a bone will peek out of the Chanel bag.  “When you see her, you’ll tell me.”  See her, see her?  Or like, see her strut past the in the halls of Congress?

Dinner with Daddy!   I love when they get together!  I have such high hopes for them.  If Olivia or Julia or Jules or whoever she is this episode could reconcile her daddy issues, she could move on.  Right?  But then we would not have a show…now would we?  Scratch that.  Command still manages to show up at the dinner table and weaves all kinds of crazy lies right to his daughter’s face.  What is his angle this season?  I still have this strange feeling that Command and Mama Pope are in cahoots. 

David Rosen punked out…again…and did not do a thing with the incredible gift Jake gave him.  Typical.  And now he and Abby are ex lovers.  With David Rosen as Attorney General he can’t very well expose B6-13. 

Here we go, ladies & gentlemen!

I am still a fan and eagerly waiting to see how this thing plays out.  Mellie is going to be the character to watch this season.  Now to watch, “How to Get Away With Murder”…that is already confusing me. 

Side note:  Ummm…does Shonda have 1, 2, 3 television shows on primetime television on the same night?  Like back to back?!?  Yes.  Indeed.  She.  Does.  She’s bad, bad, bad!

Side note to the side note:  I think they invested in a better brand of hair for Julia Jules Olivia Pope because it is even more flawless than last season!  Waiting to see what the wardrobe show...

Peep Game, Gentlemen!

It is often said that women are complicated (yet lovely) creatures and I won't argue that point.  *shoulder shrug* But!  A man that pays close attention and puts forth any kind of real consistent effort can give his lady friend exactly what she wants.  Even still I understand some men folk need a little assistance in understanding the fairer sex and I am always down to help my fellow man.  I had some ideas and wanted to add to my thinking a bit so I after
some web searching, I came across a list of what women want from men.  It's been a minute band I can't remember who wrote said list or what website I borrowed said list from but kudos to that shero!  If you know her, give her an, "Alright, girlfriend!" for me 'cuz she left very little to chance.  With a few modifications to communicate my sentiments exactly, here goes (44 is the magical number this year):

1. Call.  Avoid only texting.  Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Have a good time with the fellas but don't let the sun beat yo ass home!
4. Always be a gentleman even if we don't know how to receive it.  Some of us need to practice...
5. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes." or "Well…"
6. Ditto for "Is she sexier than me?"
7. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.  She wants a man.  Not a daddy.
8. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
9. Talking is good. Shouting is bad.  Use your inside voice before you find yourself outside, buddy!
10. Slapping is a felony.  Keep your hands to yourself or get ready to call someone to post your bail.  Ain't nobody got time for that!
11. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is tacky. For the most part.
Unless she likes that sort of thing.  #judgefreezone
12. If you ARE going to get her lingerie, get her the kind of things SHE likes to wear - NOT what YOU'D like to see her in.  No.  Clear.  Platform.  Heels.
13. If you don't want another mother, don't act like a child.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever sweeter, prettier, or better in the art of lovemaking.
15. Her cooking is DA BOMB!  If Sugar Hill Gang can handle it, so can you.
16. Anticipating her needs before she asks is a MAJOR turn on.  Try it and thank me later.
17. Dishwashing liquid is your friend. Bust those suds!  And don't forget the pots!
18. Learn to clean in and around the toilet. Especially since YOU are the one who "misses" it.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.  Or guarantee a little "nooky."  Get yo' life!
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody." or "Huh?" is never going to end that conversation.
21. Two words: clean socks. More words...without holes.
22. Two MORE words: clean underwear & you should never have to wash clothes because you ran out of "draws."  Grown men have more draws than a "strong 7."
23. Believe it or not, you're probably NOT more attractive when you've had a few.
24. Making excuses for being a jerk is bad. Learning how to admit you were wrong and apologize, is good.

25. Supportive is good. Patronizing is bad.
26. If you're a bit chunky and out of shape think about your situation before you get to clowning her for needing to get to the gym, patna!
27. No need in asking, "Whose is it?" It's. Hers. That is very, very played out.  Like, circa 1990's...
28. And forget about asking if your "Johnson" is the biggest or the best she's ever had. That's very 20-something and would you really want to know?
29. If you can't bring her to climax don't respond with, "I've never had this problem with anyone else." Sorry...you likely have.  Plus that's just mean.
30. Women do fake orgasms for various reasons in their lifetime. You likely have been a part of one of those reasons.  It happens. *shoulder shrug*
31. She might show more interest in the stuff you want to do if you genuinely show some interest in stuff she wants to do.  That's what Groupon & Living Social is for!
32. Don't accuse her of being sensitive.  That's just…insensitive.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. Feminism is not a bad thing.
35. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it!  Who cares how many times you had to circle around the airport.  Have some flowers in your hand when you see her and kiss her like it's the last time you will see her.
36. "I'm sorry, baby!" or "I was wrong, baby..." can end many arguments.
37. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't show out until she does it for you.  And don't try to fade her out.  Put your big boy draws on and just tell her it's not a good match. She might not like it but she will respect you for being honest.  Seriously.
38. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. Especially if it is to have your way with her.  Tighten up your game, playa.
39. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.  We l o v e that!
40. Remember Valentine's Day.  And her birthday.  And the day you met.  And the day you decided to commit.  And…well, you get the point.
42. Don't ask her to fix your friends up with her friends if you KNOW those cats ain't right.  That will just cause problems for you and her in the long run.
43. Call.  Avoid only texting.  Call.
43. Don't lie.
44. If you like a certain thing *wink wink* so does she.  Don't be stingy.  Your Mama taught you better than that.

See?!?  That's not complicated at all!  A man's list would have what…5 items…and 2 would be repetitive?  And women have them memorized with several more added to clarify items 1 to 5!  Sharing is caring so tell one of your boys.  Mmmmmwah!

Every Summer Has a Story

Summer summer summer time!

Awww, Lawd! *arms flailing in the air*  I bought my first sweater for the coming fall and winter season today.  You. Have.  Got. To.  Be.  Kidding.  Me.  Where has the time gone?!?  Fall is creeping up on us as the sun goes into hiding a little bit sooner each passing day.  I am SO not ready, though!  It seems like just the other day I was sifting through my crowded closet pulling shorts and dresses out from the back to try on just hoping they fit again this year.  "*!%#! Too tight.  Oooo…I can still wear these! Ca-yute!"  I promise not that long ago I was tossing yellowed white t-shirts and tank tops away from last summer. Rediscovering those cute sandals I purchases last year and hardly ever wore.  

The good thing about summer fading away every year though are the memories that flood our minds for years to come.  I mean, there is something magical and special about every summer and if we are lucky there are several magical and special moments!  Some of us try and squeeze everything we possibly can into the summer and others of us just take it one day at time. No matter your approach, there is always a story to tell after summer has come and gone.  And I do love a good story!  

"Do you remember the 21st night…"

My story for the summer of 2014 is all about doing a new thing, you know?  Being open to exciting and fresh experiences with the full intention of discovering a new love of a new thing. Choosing to be spontaneous and letting the day take me wherever it shall.  Plenty of pictures later, I am able to remember all the big and little moments of the Summer of 2014 including:     

Taking long drives along the coast 

Stuffing myself at a seafood boil for my birthday with friends…old and new

Touring plantations in Louisiana…mind blowing!

Restoring a rickety rocking chair and rocking away with a good cigar and Mint Julep on our balcony

Paul Robeson Tomato

Dancing and singing to the pulsating beat of live music with hundreds of other delirious fans

Waiting for those damn tomatoes and peppers to grow in our urban condo garden

Belting out songs in a tiny karaoke dive bar in NYC

Flying through the air on a trapeze with chicks as crazy as me…crazy!

Wine tasting with a novice & getting tipsy *Cheers!*

Deliberately focusing on being happy for 100 days straight

We.  Did.  That!

Out my way we just might be able to squeeze in a few more weeks of summer reminiscent weather and I plan to enjoy every single solitary sunshiny moment.  There is a nice green patch of grass (yeah, we are in a drought) waiting for me to spread my colorful blanket on to enjoy a good book.  I have every intention to catch the perfect sunset.  I just must make time to gaze up at the stars on a clear warm night while I lay back on the hood of my car.  I will keep dropping hints to my old man to take me fishing for the first time, already.  Hell!  I might even join a quick water balloon fight before the crisp air of fall chases me back inside for a scarf. Girl, bye!  I most certainly will NOT get my damn hair wet.  No matter what, I will have a story to tell!  

What is your story for the summer of 2014?