We Can Have What We Want!

Friday, October 17, 2014

Now We Have A Show!

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

"Hi! My name is Faith Margaret and I watch Scandal." I enjoy it. Thoroughly…and will blog right here about all new episodes on Thursday nights beginning next week. Oh! Your theories about what is happening next in this suspenseful show are welcomed along with my musings.

Nice start. A little “Controversy” by Your Royal Badness for your viewing pleasure today, ladies and gentlemen.

A cry for help can’t get any louder than the POTUS and Madam First Cray Cray’s baby girl getting high out of her mind and reportedly exploring her sexuality at a raging college party. Auntie Olivia to the rescue with the helicopter ride on the damn roof of the party that seemed hella live (anyone from LA in the 80’s and 90’s should remember that saying). When will these kids (and some adults) ever learn that smart phones are not always our friends?!? I think kids should be made to sign a “Smart Phone Contract” when they get their first phone and every subsequent upgrade just to be sure everyone is clear about the rules of the game. Especially if the parents are paying for said smart phones. No. Pictures. Or. Videos. Ever. And the parents of one of the boys want $2.5 million dollars for the sex tape of the POTUS’ daughter plus a little more for good measure?!? Well, damn! They didn’t know with whom they were dealing with. Think again, rich mom and dad.

Now you know good and damn well the Obama girls will NOT be caught doing any of that foolishness. Instead of the Secret Service escorting Sasha and Malia out of some party, you best believe their Mama and Nana would march right up and through there and drag them out. With all quickness.

Command is trying to kill Jake. Again. Note to self: Remember to look for flashing red lights underneath your vehicle if it ever gets crazy out in these streets. Who knew?!? Oh, Lord Jesus! Command is disappointed in Tom his, “Golden Boy”…one of his favorites. “Disappointment often turns to frustration. Frustration turns to resentment.

Resentment turns to anger. Anger to rage. Rage to indifference. And once I am indifferent? Well, I will have forgotten that you were ever one of my favorites.” Don’t let Command down, Tom! *biting my nails* Tom is about to be found out! That’s the President’s boy. Or so he thought.

Jake is in trouble, trouble, trouble.

Jake is on a one-man mission to turn the entire town against Command. He makes a beeline to David Rosen telling him to leak the B6-13 files should something happen to him. Oh, but David got some cajones tonight (short lived, of course) and declined the directive claiming patriotism to the good old US of A. It’s almost as if Jake said, “Boy, bye!” right before he penned him up. What will he do now to be powerful in Washington? Loses. Again.

Cyrus is caught up with that callboy. Nothing good can come from that foolishness.

Madam First Cray Cray had to get her life real quick when she attempted to snatch Olivia in the hall of the White House like she saw a damn ghost. Cyrus got a quick jab in asking if Madam First Cray Cray had on a new color of Uggs. Hilarious! Oh, Mellie…how she must feel knowing her last surviving child called her husband’s mistress to help her in time of crisis. Is that really that surprising, though? Come on. She’s Olivia Pope! The fixer. Geez… Fascinating play on female empowerment, conscious choices and sexism.

Well alright, POTUS! He READ Drunk Mellie, Bad Hygiene Mellie, Smellie Mellie, Screw Everything to Hell Mellie, Cry Baby Mellie, Eat Everything That Is Not Nailed Down Mellie. But not Righteous History Rewriting Mellie. No sir. No ma’am. Not today! In no uncertain terms he directed Smellie Mellie to get all of her natural life before she comes telling him not to call Olivia to fix the latest mess. Thought she was on the ropes until she reminded him that baby girl takes after him. Sex tape, indeed!

Oh! The Gladiators are in the White House and O-Wishia is trying to pull rank. It’s not working out for her very well. Cyrus reminds her that she just ain’t Olivia, “You are not Olivia. You will never be Olivia. Hating Olivia for your own shortcomings will never change that fact.” I think she should just pick up her Gladiator gear and go back home to Olivia.

Diana Ross, baby! “I’m coming out! I want the world to know. I’ve got to let it show.” In the 80’s I fantasized that Ms. Ross was my mother and she would call me out on stage to perform with her. I digress…

Olivia and Fitz finally have their moment and it was so intense! The primal lust and dramatic love that keeps them bonded together like crazy glue is palpable. Even from across the room they are still so so close. But she managed to walk away. Good girl! For now… Spoke too soon. *cue that music they play when Olivia and Fitz have a moment* Fitz got mad skillz, Yo! Best way to end the party in both of their pants though is to reference good old Jake. Womp. Womp. Womp. Now somebody else wants Jake dead.

That damn Command! *clapping my hands excitedly* Here comes the drama! He’s a bad…shut your mouth! He straight looks Tom in the eyes and gets clear with him just how this thing is going to go down. Command always gets his man, baby! “Who gave you the order to kill the President’s son?!?” Jake. Ballard. That Command ain’t nothing to f*!k with. Shout out to Wu-Tang…

I still can’t stand Quinn. At all. Prolly never will. And I am okay with that. UGH!

Side note: Has anyone eaten at Gettysburger? Good or naw?

Side note to the side note: She’s baaaacckkkk!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?!?

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

“I have back up plans for my back up plans.” I thought I was the only one that did that! Me. Too. Boo Boo. There is nothing wrong with being prepared just in case things don’t go as planned. A wise man once said, “If you stay ready, you ain’t got to get ready.” Still trying to figure out the angle of Ellen’s wifey and why she wants Cyrus to get caught up.

Cyrus just may have met his match with that cat, “The Whore” that is trying to set him up. The Whore had him all excited to take a stalker-ish call from him. I’m not mad at him, though. It is so intoxicating! That getting to know this new person stage where you wait for their phone call, hang on their every word and imagine what being with them will be like. Yeah…that! Cyrus is in trouble. Is that what escorts tell their johns? They aren’t paying for sex but are paying for privacy and discretion?

When is the last time you realized you were inside the bubble? David Rosen is sitting at the grown ups table and he is enjoying himself, baby! He has a habit of making himself look mighty good and saving his career by digging through those old B6-13 files

Daddy!

Jake gifted him with last year just looking for the dirtiest of dirt. Now you know that I know that you know that I know Jake did not give the B6-13 files to David for that purpose. But, he won. The gun ruling was given in the POTUS’ favor. The Judge killed himself. And David’s white hat is getting dirtier and dirtier.

I sorta kinda maybe prolly…hell, sure would like Command to be my Daddy in my dream life. I mean, come on! He is THE man. He can make me breakfast. He can pour my wine. He can invite my lover and I over for dinner. Olivia don’t love no damn, Jake! How the hell does she ask that cat to have dinner with her father…Command…knowing he threw Jake in the hole and tortured him? What is this thing with Jake trying to play hard to get with Olivia? He is committed to getting her to understand that she needs to choose him, right? Oh, but Jake has a little bit of game. He keeps reminding Olivia that she is not his girlfriend, he damn sure ain’t her boyfriend and she is in love with another man. But the sex is cool.

O-Wishia and Olivia are growing to be enemies. Olivia wants O-Wishia to stay out of her business and she kept it pretty and classy when she described why they are not as close, “…different paths.” Note to self. Did you check Olivia roll her sistah girl eyes at O-Wishia, though? A good eye roll is an excellent compliment to get your pissivity or plain old annoyance across! I use it liberally.

Madam First Cray Cray gets excited and lifts her head out of the fog she is stumbling through with Uggs on, to dig into a story about a new bride pushing her husband off a cliff? Those people look absolutely confused with being called to the White House for a PowerPoint presentation on how not to get away with murder, which they already knew. “Womp, womp, womp.” Are we going to see her in a straight jacket before the season is over?

Jake is still investigating what happened to Harrison and is using Quinn to get that creepy Charlie to talk. I want him to stop calling her, “Robin.” She is incredibly confident this season and took some classes in how to whoop a suckas a@! in the off season. She ain’t loyal, though just like Chris Brown said! Jake is going to uncover what really happened last season and blow Olivia’s mind with what he discovers. Her daddy is still Command.

Shonda, Shonda, Shonda. Certainly there is a method to this slow rolling boil that you are teasing us with. This must surely lead to some amazing crescendo where we are all whooping and hollering and waiting with baited breath for next week’s episode. Right?!? *insert that sistah girl eye roll*

Side note: there was no music in this episode until it was time to for the POTUS to ask O-Wishia about his one true love.

Side note to the side note: the legs of this show are clearly firmly rooted under the sordid affair between Olivia and the POTUS. Set up the meet, already!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Bring On The Drama, Baby!

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

Still not buying the Jake and Olivia coupledom but I said that last week, huh? And why is he not her boyfriend? Is he only her boyfriend when they are strolling in the sun? Does he not want to be at her apartment because that is where the drama with the POTUS happened? Is he trying to get her on level playing field, maybe? “If I wanna summon you, I will summon you. Come here to me!” Okay. Maybe I can buy it a little bit.

Our boy, Cyrus is back! He always starts off nice enough but when he discovers you are not willing to give him what he wants, off come the gloves, baby! Cyrus attempts to blackmail Olivia for taking money from the US government if she won’t do his bidding but she ain’t never scared. I mean, her daddy is Command. Until he pulls the trump card…Fitz! He will throw a wrench in her attempt to move past that sordid affair with the POTUS and fill him with lies about Olivia wanting him and calling him and pining over him. Now that’s a friend! Who really is Cyrus’ friend? Better yet, who is he a friend to? That. Damn. Cyrus.

The music is back!

“I wonder wow! He’s the greatest dancer!”

Anyone else notice Olivia is back to wearing white again. But only on the top. The bottom is reserved for black. Message?

I just might be on Team Mellie this season. She is a hot mess! “This photo of you looking crazy is all over America and we have a problem!” says Cyrus in the only way he can say it. Somebody needs to call Iyanla Vanzant so she can barge into the White House and help Mellie to fix her life! Call a thing a thing, baby! While she is at it, Iyanla can corner the POTUS and help him get his Presidential Balls back because he is just depressing to watch.

Get yourself together, girl!

Abby (aka O-Wishia) is no Olivia, I don’t care what you say. Olivia quarterbacking this thing is hilarious and Cyrus passes the information right along though he pretends he could care less. I think O-Wishia really wants to be Olivia and she has always wanted to be Olivia but she will never be Olivia. She did manage to pull off a fairly decent impression of Olivia when it counted, though and referencing Jackie Kennedy was a good move. And Olivia managed to make that crazy couple irrelevant and give the POTUS just what he needed to make Madam First Cray Cray relatable to any other mother in the country. Damn! They still need Olivia. White had still perched just so on her perfectly coiffed head.

David. David. David. *insert pitiful face* Now he is going to run for Senate? Not so fast, buddy. Harrison’s reach stretches far beyond the grave with the falsified pictures accusing David of beating women so he won’t date Abby. This cat has theeeeee worse luck ever! But he still has those old B6-13 files to sift through and use what he finds to get him what he wants. Clever, Mr. Rosen. Clever.

I soooo do not want Huck and Quinn to be boos. It’s just not right. And it is gross. And I want her to disappear. “You could never mind your own business, Quinn!”

So Harrison's death is going to play itself out in a long plot this season? Mama Pope, Command and the gross cat that loved Quinn still need to be woven into the picture. A blind man can see that hot boy toy that was tempting Cyrus is bad news! Don’t do it, Cyrus! It’s a damn set up by Ellen’s boo. What?!?! *fade out to Donna Summer’s music*

Side note: It took Mellie way to long to eat that fried chicken leg, by the way. There is no nibbling on fried chicken! Everybody knows that!

Side note to the side note: I was waiting for the drama, Ms. Shonda. You are slowly dressing the table and I am waiting for the next course. *dabbing my mouth with a napkin*

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Well, It's About Damn Time!

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

Annnnd, she’s back! Shonda starts the 4^th season off with… Well, y’all saw it. *fanning self & crossing my legs* Jake is still not hot. Sorry, ladies. But the scruffy beard added a little “something something “ to his overall look. We all know Julia “Jules” Baker can’t make it out there on a private island with a man and not a care in the world without being dragged back into the fray.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life of that foine brotha, Harrison that wore the tight pants and suspenders and talked really, really fast while staring intently in your eyes.” Damn! Damn! Damn! Maybe Columbus Short can now have several seats in his real life and get himself together. Shonda gave him a proper send off

In memoriam...

though with the Queen of Soul singing in the background. Who knew Harrison grew up in a group home?!? The gang all showed up to pay their respects, even Command. And the show moves on…

And we’re back! Cyrus got a makeover and some…hair. Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down? Is that Ellen Degeneres’ wife, “what’shername” playing a role on Scandal? Lizzie Bear? What exactly is her role, though? They said she was on Twitter and I hardly recognized her. Cyrus breaks the news to the POTUS about his forbidden lover returning to DC. That just throws a wrench into Cyrus’ plan to run the country with the POTUS standing behind the podium.

That damn Quinn is back! Ugh! It’s been what, 5 months and I still don’t like her. And she is going to make up the revised, “Olivia Pope & Associate” as the first member of the team to find their way back home. Huck is having a hard time (and sporting a horrible bowl cut) doing a little spy work as a Geek Squad guy, “Randy The Smart Guy” at the Smart Counter. How. Pitiful. Was. That??! Ohhhh, but he is still Huck despite the name change. And Randy The Smart Guy is the reason why Olivia is going to have to come back for good. He is her baby. Like, literally. Her first project. The original gladiator!

Now Abby is the Press Secretary looking mighty in charge and doing her best to imitate THE Olivia Pope? Ole fake a@! “O-Wishia!” Fly handbag, cute dark coat and all. Poor imitation. And Olivia read her up and down for attempting to throw shade her way, turned on her heels and did the Olivia Strut. She’s baaaackkkk!!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Mellie is out of control strolling the White House halls with her usually perfectly coiffed hair, clad in Uggs, baggy sweats and some flowing Japanese kimono as she eats sugary cereal right out the box. I literally laughed out loud! And then felt crappy as I watched her lay on the grave of the son she struggled to connect with because she thought he was Big Jerry’s seed. *moment of silence*

So, the POTUS tried to kill himself and Mellie saved him? That will come up again later this season. “Madam First Cray Cray” keeps a Chanel handbag full of the skeleton bones of the POTUS and one never knows when a bone will peek out of the Chanel bag. “When you see her, you’ll tell me.” See her, see her? Or like, see her strut past the in the halls of Congress?

Dinner with Daddy! I love when they get together! I have such high hopes for them. If Olivia or Julia or Jules or whoever she is this episode could reconcile her daddy issues, she could move on. Right? But then we would not have a show…now would we? Scratch that. Command still manages to show up at the dinner table and weaves all kinds of crazy lies right to his daughter’s face. What is his angle this season? I still have this strange feeling that Command and Mama Pope are in cahoots.

David Rosen punked out…again…and did not do a thing with the incredible gift Jake gave him. Typical. And now he and Abby are ex lovers. With David Rosen as Attorney General he can’t very well expose B6-13.

Here we go, ladies & gentlemen!

I am still a fan and eagerly waiting to see how this thing plays out. Mellie is going to be the character to watch this season. Now to watch, “How to Get Away With Murder”…that is already confusing me.

Side note: Ummm…does Shonda have 1, 2, 3 television shows on primetime television on the same night? Like back to back?!? Yes. Indeed. She. Does. She’s bad, bad, bad!

Side note to the side note: I think they invested in a better brand of hair for Julia Jules Olivia Pope because it is even more flawless than last season! Waiting to see what the wardrobe show...

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Peep Game, Gentlemen!

It is often said that women are complicated (yet lovely) creatures and I won't argue that point. *shoulder shrug* But! A man that pays close attention and puts forth any kind of real consistent effort can give his lady friend exactly what she wants. Even still I understand some men folk need a little assistance in understanding the fairer sex and I am always down to help my fellow man. I had some ideas and wanted to add to my thinking a bit so I after

some web searching, I came across a list of what women want from men. It's been a minute band I can't remember who wrote said list or what website I borrowed said list from but kudos to that shero! If you know her, give her an, "Alright, girlfriend!" for me 'cuz she left very little to chance. With a few modifications to communicate my sentiments exactly, here goes (44 is the magical number this year):

1. Call. Avoid only texting. Call.
2. Don't lie.
3. Have a good time with the fellas but don't let the sun beat yo ass home!
4. Always be a gentleman even if we don't know how to receive it. Some of us need to practice...
5. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes." or "Well…"
6. Ditto for "Is she sexier than me?"
7. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad. She wants a man. Not a daddy.
8. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
9. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Use your inside voice before you find yourself outside, buddy!
10. Slapping is a felony. Keep your hands to yourself or get ready to call someone to post your bail. Ain't nobody got time for that!
11. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is tacky. For the most part.
Unless she likes that sort of thing. #judgefreezone
12. If you ARE going to get her lingerie, get her the kind of things SHE likes to wear - NOT what YOU'D like to see her in. No. Clear. Platform. Heels.
13. If you don't want another mother, don't act like a child.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever sweeter, prettier, or better in the art of lovemaking.
15. Her cooking is DA BOMB! If Sugar Hill Gang can handle it, so can you.
16. Anticipating her needs before she asks is a MAJOR turn on. Try it and thank me later.
17. Dishwashing liquid is your friend. Bust those suds! And don't forget the pots!
18. Learn to clean in and around the toilet. Especially since YOU are the one who "misses" it.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay. Or guarantee a little "nooky." Get yo' life!
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody." or "Huh?" is never going to end that conversation.
21. Two words: clean socks. More words...without holes.
22. Two MORE words: clean underwear & you should never have to wash clothes because you ran out of "draws." Grown men have more draws than a "strong 7."
23. Believe it or not, you're probably NOT more attractive when you've had a few.
24. Making excuses for being a jerk is bad. Learning how to admit you were wrong and apologize, is good.

25. Supportive is good. Patronizing is bad.
26. If you're a bit chunky and out of shape think about your situation before you get to clowning her for needing to get to the gym, patna!
27. No need in asking, "Whose is it?" It's. Hers. That is very, very played out. Like, circa 1990's...
28. And forget about asking if your "Johnson" is the biggest or the best she's ever had. That's very 20-something and would you really want to know?
29. If you can't bring her to climax don't respond with, "I've never had this problem with anyone else." Sorry...you likely have. Plus that's just mean.
30. Women do fake orgasms for various reasons in their lifetime. You likely have been a part of one of those reasons. It happens. *shoulder shrug*
31. She might show more interest in the stuff you want to do if you genuinely show some interest in stuff she wants to do. That's what Groupon & Living Social is for!
32. Don't accuse her of being sensitive. That's just…insensitive.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
34. Feminism is not a bad thing.
35. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it! Who cares how many times you had to circle around the airport. Have some flowers in your hand when you see her and kiss her like it's the last time you will see her.
36. "I'm sorry, baby!" or "I was wrong, baby..." can end many arguments.
37. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't show out until she does it for you. And don't try to fade her out. Put your big boy draws on and just tell her it's not a good match. She might not like it but she will respect you for being honest. Seriously.
38. Don't tell her you love her if you don't. Especially if it is to have your way with her. Tighten up your game, playa.
39. Tell her you love her if you do. Often. We l o v e that!
40. Remember Valentine's Day. And her birthday. And the day you met. And the day you decided to commit. And…well, you get the point.
42. Don't ask her to fix your friends up with her friends if you KNOW those cats ain't right. That will just cause problems for you and her in the long run.
43. Call. Avoid only texting. Call.
43. Don't lie.
44. If you like a certain thing *wink wink* so does she. Don't be stingy. Your Mama taught you better than that.

See?!? That's not complicated at all! A man's list would have what…5 items…and 2 would be repetitive? And women have them memorized with several more added to clarify items 1 to 5! Sharing is caring so tell one of your boys. Mmmmmwah!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Every Summer Has a Story

Summer summer summer time!

Awww, Lawd! *arms flailing in the air* I bought my first sweater for the coming fall and winter season today. You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. Where has the time gone?!? Fall is creeping up on us as the sun goes into hiding a little bit sooner each passing day. I am SO not ready, though! It seems like just the other day I was sifting through my crowded closet pulling shorts and dresses out from the back to try on just hoping they fit again this year. "*!%#! Too tight. Oooo…I can still wear these! Ca-yute!" I promise not that long ago I was tossing yellowed white t-shirts and tank tops away from last summer. Rediscovering those cute sandals I purchases last year and hardly ever wore.

The good thing about summer fading away every year though are the memories that flood our minds for years to come. I mean, there is something magical and special about every summer and if we are lucky there are several magical and special moments! Some of us try and squeeze everything we possibly can into the summer and others of us just take it one day at time. No matter your approach, there is always a story to tell after summer has come and gone. And I do love a good story!

"Do you remember the 21st night…"

My story for the summer of 2014 is all about doing a new thing, you know? Being open to exciting and fresh experiences with the full intention of discovering a new love of a new thing. Choosing to be spontaneous and letting the day take me wherever it shall. Plenty of pictures later, I am able to remember all the big and little moments of the Summer of 2014 including:

Taking long drives along the coast

Stuffing myself at a seafood boil for my birthday with friends…old and new

Touring plantations in Louisiana…mind blowing!

Restoring a rickety rocking chair and rocking away with a good cigar and Mint Julep on our balcony

Paul Robeson Tomato

Dancing and singing to the pulsating beat of live music with hundreds of other delirious fans

Waiting for those damn tomatoes and peppers to grow in our urban condo garden

Belting out songs in a tiny karaoke dive bar in NYC

Flying through the air on a trapeze with chicks as crazy as me…crazy!

Wine tasting with a novice & getting tipsy *Cheers!*

Deliberately focusing on being happy for 100 days straight

We. Did. That!

Out my way we just might be able to squeeze in a few more weeks of summer reminiscent weather and I plan to enjoy every single solitary sunshiny moment. There is a nice green patch of grass (yeah, we are in a drought) waiting for me to spread my colorful blanket on to enjoy a good book. I have every intention to catch the perfect sunset. I just must make time to gaze up at the stars on a clear warm night while I lay back on the hood of my car. I will keep dropping hints to my old man to take me fishing for the first time, already. Hell! I might even join a quick water balloon fight before the crisp air of fall chases me back inside for a scarf. Girl, bye! I most certainly will NOT get my damn hair wet. No matter what, I will have a story to tell!

What is your story for the summer of 2014?