Sitting still and doing nothing has never been easy for me. My mind is typically racing thinking of alllll I have to do, want to do, need to do, should have done, better do. It just seems like there is not enough time in the day to get everything done that "seems" important, you know? My rationale is that checking this and that off my "To Do" list frees me to enjoy life fully so moving consistently is absolutely justified. The thing is expending all that energy in that way does not leave me feeling settled, a core desired feeling for me for 2014. *sigh* With 2014 practically over (What The Hell?!?), I still have plenty of work to do to get me closer to living a more full life. I found just the thing, too thanks to Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
21 days ago I decided to join Oprah and Deepak on their 21 Day Meditation Experience. For 21 days I had the opportunity to practice guided meditation focused on feeling joy, inspired, peace, love, playful, hope, complete and living joy, contentment, kindness, laughter, passion and radiating bliss, grace, being of service and radiating compassion, wisdom, serenity and finally…fulfillment. Let's be clear, meditation is not an easy thing for me. Each time I have tried it in the past I left practicing feeling frustrated because it was damn hard! I could not quiet my mind and felt even MORE stressed with not being able to practice peacefully. This time around I still struggled with intrusive thoughts during practice but I kept with it. I'm focused, man!!!
Visualizing and silently repeating the daily mantras helped redirect my thoughts. Feeling my body literally surrender to the practice with deep cleansing breaths was amazing and encouraging. The best way to describe the feeling is like sand slowly sifting through a vessel. With each day that passed along the journey, I actually looked forward to expanding my happy with meditation. About half way through it became clear to me that I was looking forward to being in a quiet, peaceful, reflective and welcoming space that I created just for me at work and at home. Now that this part of the journey is over, I am left with a few understandings:
I am committed to growing more comfortable with meditation by practicing at least once per week. Finding that sweet spot in between thoughts is now part of my lifelong journey and is definitely worth the effort. I am determined to have that core feeling of being settled in this lifetime and meditating can only bring me closer to that. Walking. Not running. So eventually I stop and relish in perfect peace beyond understanding. Believing that all is well and all will be well will free me from worrying and allow me to see the miracle that is this moment in time. Right here. Right now. That is indeed, all that matters.
Visualizing and silently repeating the daily mantras helped redirect my thoughts. Feeling my body literally surrender to the practice with deep cleansing breaths was amazing and encouraging. The best way to describe the feeling is like sand slowly sifting through a vessel. With each day that passed along the journey, I actually looked forward to expanding my happy with meditation. About half way through it became clear to me that I was looking forward to being in a quiet, peaceful, reflective and welcoming space that I created just for me at work and at home. Now that this part of the journey is over, I am left with a few understandings:
Taking time for self is not selfish. It's self affirming. And necessary.
Sitting still is empowering. Things can wait.
Quieting the mind is rejuvenating.
Commitment to a thing is a good thing.
Getting happy is wonderful. And expanding happy is amazing!
Like the old mothers of the church say all the time, "Keep living, baby." And keep meditating. "Namaste."
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