Scandal. Scandal. Scandal!!!

"Scandalous Thursdays!"

"Hi!  My name is Faith Margaret and I watch Scandal."  I enjoy it.  Thoroughly…and will blog  right here about all new episodes on Thursday nights beginning next week.  Oh!  Your theories about what is happening next in this suspenseful show are welcomed along with my musings. 

Take a deep breath, sweet babies.  It went down tonight!

That damn Sally Langston!  Running for President of the United States?  Has she forgotten that she killed her husband just a few months ago?  She should be in somebody’s psych ward babbling about how the devil made her do it or something!  And she said so (good possible set up for an insanity defense, actually)!  Bless her heart.  It just takes a random reporter here or there to start peeling back the layers of that onion that is going to come and STANK up the entire room with the VP’s mess.   *Peep the House of Cards tribute with the text words on the screen?*  Never mind the Gladiators getting all up in her business.  And she has a BIG mouth?!?  This can’t end well.     

Anyone else notice Olivia calling the POTUS, “Fitz” in front of everyone else looking mighty, mighty comfortable as his girlfriend?  No, “Mr. President” rolled off her lips not nary a time when they were handling business in the White House.  I mean, is she really a mistress if she is not a secret to the wife and the wife sorta kinda maybe really supports her husband’s love affair for the sake of her own selfish and desperate thirst for power?  Hmph!  I am still NOT a Mellie fan simply because she takes zero, zilch, no responsibility for her poor choices.  Oh, but she will never miss an opportunity to dress down Olivia when she gets the chance, “Pick one.  Any one of them.  Tall, short, black, white, skinny, fat, Republican, Democrat.  Pick one.  So that people can stop thinking you’re screwing my husband.”  blank stare  Is there not one brotha in the nation’s capital that Olivia can canoodle with?  Come on, son!    

Sometimes they tango, waltz, salsa, jitterbug…even step. At times they are in step with each other and other times they are on different beats all together.  The dance between Olivia and Fitz is always fascinating!   They have that desperate, breath taking, lustful, balls to the wall love affair.  There is this strong force between those two that keeps drawing them back to each other even when the odds are stacked high against them.  “You are NOT resigning!  I refuse to accept your resignation.  You can’t leave me.”

Cyrus and his husband are even speaking?!?  First he ran to pitiful David Rosen giving him the juice and then he back tracks when Cyrus makes it right by making him the White House Press Secretary?  Hilarious!  Everyone can be brought for a price on this damn show!  Wait!  He scurries back to David Rosen after Cyrus reminds him he is still just a reporter.  He is so conflicted.  He can’t be trusted.  Period.  And who the hell is watching that pretty brown baby while her Daddies are running about town getting in and out of mess?!?

Harrison is scared of this cat woman coming for into the county.  WHY?  Don’t cry, sweet, sweet Harrison.  The foreign cat woman is sending him pictures of when they were TURNT UP and folks in the pictures are now dead.  Baby looked mighty nice handling that steel, huh?  What in the hell?  “Who dis woman, Harrison?!?”

Beat it, Jake!  I do not buy Jake as Command.  Sorry.  He doesn’t seem mean enough, diabolical enough, too clean cut, too much of a good guy.  Jake is Command to protect the dirty secret the POTUS is holding from the country and that is all.  He seems like the boss you have that you really are not worried about so you do what the hell you want to do until you no longer want to do it.   “Quinn Perkins is not B-613.  Never will be.” Quinn still seems pretty unstable and silly and basically uninformed, if you ask me.  I am concerned about her and she kidnaps children.  She’s officially on my “S!#T List!”  And she will never be a Gladiator!  Even though Olivia still wants to save Quinn and make right what she did to destroy the life she once had.

I want Daddy Pope and Olivia to be close.  I want to see them have a positive relationship, a loving relationship.  Sunday dinners done the right way and rebuilding their fragile relationship.  I want her to be a Daddy’s Girl because that will resolve all of her issues with men.  Right?  Wait!  I spoke too soon.  That cat delivers another stunning dialogue that had me over here whooping & hollering & clapping my hands.  He said:    

“You know what happened (insert diabolical chuckle).  No, you have no idea what happened.  You have no idea what is currently happening.  You’re skipping around in a field full of bombs and mistaking them for daisies.  This, dear sweet child is what happened.    The married man you can’t seem to stay away from had me abducted and locked me up in chains and spoke to me about the way you taste, while he allowed the terrorist who snaked her way into my marriage bed to clear US airspace.  What happened was the man you screwed betrayed me by freeing the woman who gave birth to you as a bargaining chip.  What happened was the man who defiled you also defiled an organization I gave my soul to build.  THAT is what happened.  What is currently happening is that President Fitzgerald Thomas Grant the Third has made an enemy, the worst kind of enemy because I know all his secrets.   I know where every body is buried and the greatest weapon I can use against him calls me, “Dad.”  Uncommon valor was a common virtue.  The thing about that quote, Olivia is that it is from the good old days.  It no longer applies today.  Everyone is afraid.  Everyone should be afraid.  The President should be very afraid and if I were you, Olivia I would be terrified.  I would pick up whatever chips you have left and run as far away as possible from that burning building known as the White House.  Run, Olivia.  Run because mark my words, Fitzgerald Grant is not going to make it to the end of his term.  Watch me.  Start grieving now, Olivia.   Rend your garments, curse the heavens, it will save you time down the road.  But first, run!” 

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s good acting. Good Broadway trained acting!  And I don’t care what you say, the REAL Command is back whether he is called Command or not!  You know why?  That VP candidate is a set up by good old Command.  The real Command!  And Mellie’s old…lover?!?!?  HOT DAMN!!!    *applause all around* 

Side note:  They are doing a good job hiding Kerry's "Love On Top."  Position arms here.  Hold bag this way (and that was a bad bad bag!), place a random object in front of her standing there or sitting there.  Make sure Fitz holds her just so to hide her growing belly.  Clever. 

Side note to the side note:  Where is her husband?

Eight.  More.  Episodes.  Yasssssssssss!!!

The Last Argument

"Love & War Tuesdays"

Tuesday's blog is reserved for discussions about acknowledging our desire for love, positioning ourselves for love to find us, risking vulnerability to nurture and maintain love and surviving love lost to find the strength to love again.

The Struggle is Real.

Anyone that does not know their birth parent or has known their birth parent but struggles in relationship with them…has the potential to struggle with feelings of abandonment at some point.  A good number of us with this reality hesitate to acknowledge this feeling and some of us even deny it.  But if we look close enough we can see that feeling its right there with us.  In front of us.  To the left of us.  To the right of us.  And behind us.  And I know from experience.  I was a child that saw men leaving women, I do not know my birth father and I did not have a father figure in my formative years so this abandonment stuff is ever present for me. It's a struggle I have been fighting for most of my life and by now I can predict when and how it will show up.  Case in point:   

A little while back I was all in my feelings behind a disconnect between my love and I that felt really BIG to me.  From what I could see (and we see what we want to see) he seemed unaffected by the disconnect and was going about his business while I was feeling some kind of all kinds of ways.  And then it hit me!  Something seemingly simple yet profoundly deep.  At least for me.  When I have a disagreement or argument with the man I love it always feels like it is The Last Argument or disagreement.  You know, the one that is going to end the love affair and he, too will "abandon" me.  The result?  I typically let my anxiety get the best of me and overreact (it's better for me to reject him to validate what my subconscious wants me to believe).  Or!  I will tiptoe around things that clearly are bothering me to avoid The Last Argument. That. Can. Never. Ever. Ever. Work.

Once I got myself together enough to have a conversation with him that would not result in me being overly sensitive to his perceived response or lack thereof, I made an effort to bring him into how I was experiencing the disconnect.  And wouldn't you know he shared none of the feelings and concerns I mentioned?!?!  He did not think our disconnect was The Last Argument or disagreement at all, nor did he think it was a big deal.  At all. And. And. And!  Though he was aware of the circumstances of my childhood, he had not connected the dots about the undercurrent of abandonment for me in relationships.  I made some assumptions about what he knew about me and I was wrong.  There was work for us to do to manage this struggle in our relationship so I rolled up my sleeves, swept my bangs from my eyes and got to it.   

I am clear now that it is important that any man that loves me is tuned in to the undercurrent of abandonment for me in relationship.  I am clear now that I it is important for him to be mindful of this battle I am fighting as we fall deeper & deeper in love & grow closer & closer as a result.  Cause that's when the real problems can bubble up to the surface for those of us that struggle with abandonment, right?  When the relationship is progressing smoothly and possibilities are before us, here comes that old nuisance abandonment to remind us of all our worries and fears.  I am clear now inviting him to  create a ritual with me that we depend on when we need to resolve conflict.  A process for us when we need to have the, "We Need to Talk" talk, you know? 

So!  We made an agreement about a practice for how we would approach having difficult conversations.  We have not had to practice as often as I anticipated we would but it's comforting to know that tool is there when we need to use it.  When we know better, we do better.  And I am doing my work because I know better.  I can have what I want!  And it's a good thing to be connected to a man that welcomes my attempts to get out of my own way.  I am working on having that mature love we all deserve & peeling back my layers in the process. 

Thursday Nights?!? Shut. It. Down.

"Scandalous Thursdays!"
"Hi!  My name is Faith Margaret and I watch Scandal."  I enjoy it.  Thoroughly…and will blog  right here about all new episodes on Thursday nights beginning next week.  Oh!  Your theories about what is happening next in this suspenseful show are welcomed along with my musings. 

So!  Since it is my good intention to blog about new episodes of Scandal on Thursday nights I figured we may as well go ahead and acknowledge a few things, like...

1.  Everyone does not like Scandal.  

2.  Everyone does not watch Scandal.  

3.  Many folks have serious, strong opinions about those of us that do watch Scandal and the impact the show has on black folks, specifically.  

Yep!  I've heard it all and appreciate lively debates on the subject.  Just know that right here?  On this here blog?  I will offer a recap of new episodes of Scandal on Thursdays even amidst the naysayers.  And that's just that.  We can explore what is happening on the show with its twists and turns as well as the suggested impact the show is having, in general.  All opinions are welcomed.  Now that we've got that out of the way, shall we begin?

After a ridiculously long wait it's just about time for one of the most entertaining yet divisive televisions shows to capture our attention again.  Oh, indeed there will be plenty of water cooler talk the day after and social media will be abuzz come February 27th.  It's been a while so a recounting of where Olivia, Cyrus, the POTUS, Mellie and the Gladiators left off is in order!

The winter finale of 2013 found us reeling from Command absolutely, positively, without a doubt r e a d i n g Fitz over the subject of his daughter, THE formidable Olivia Pope.  Remember that scene?  Here goes...

POTUS:  “I’m screwing her, you know? Your daughter. Every chance I get. The things I could tell you…about the way she tastes. She’s quite a girl. Talented.” 

Really? Really, Fitz? You are going to stand in that man’s presence and tell him you’ve had his daughter this way and that way? Really?!?

Command:  “For you it’s always summertime and the living is easy. Your daddy’s rich and your mama’s good lookin’! You. Are. A. Boy. I’m a man! I have worked for every single thing I have ever received. I have fought and scraped and bled for every inch of ground I walk on. I was the first in my family to go to college. My daughter went to school with the children of kings. I made that happen! You cry yourself to sleep because daddy hurt your feelings. Because papa banged his secretary. Because it hurt to have so much money. You spoiled, entitled, ungrateful little brat! You have EVERYTHING handed to you on a silver platter and you squander it. You’re given the world and you can’t appreciate it because you haven’t had to work for ANYTHING! So, now you’ve decided that the one thing that you want is my daughter, my child, mine. What I made! What I created! You can talk about what a great lay she is all you want to get a response from me but guess what? I am actually quite literally above your pay grade. Which means that I know that you believe that you are in love with her. You love that she is a door marked exit! You love that she is your way out! Because if you are with Olivia Pope you don’t have to fulfill your father’s dream of being President! If you are with Olivia you no longer have to be your father’s son! An apple never falls too far from the tree. You are ALWAYS going to be Senator Grant’s disappointing boy Fitz! SHE is always going to be the formidable Olivia Pope! Don’t use the person that I made to make you into a man. You’re a BOY! You disappoint me as a suitor for my daughter’s hand!”

I love that cat, man!! That’s theatrical acting, baby! *Applause & Whistles* And damn good writing! Betcha the person that wrote that scene had absolutely no lead left in that number 2 pencil once the scene was done.

The Vice President literally had blood on her hands, that damn Quinn was bumbling as usual (though I think we should keep our eye on her…the chile' ain't right), Cyrus appeared seemingly out for the count only to get up off the ropes in the last round with a brutal upper cut and Jake had ascended the throne as the new Command!  And.  And.  And!  We realized that Olivia's mother is actually a damn terrorist, spy or whatever and is THE master manipulator.  And had the nerve to sport a white coat before she exited stage left! 
  
And here we are!  *cue the dramatic soap opera music that would play at the end of the soap operas your Mama and 'nem watched when you were a kid*  How will Command handle not being Command anymore?  What types of mischief is Mama Pope going to get into and for what reason?  How will Mellie manage living with a man that clearly wants to be with another woman?  That damn Cyrus, what is to come from his betrayal (again) of his husband?  And Huck!  Dear Huck!  What ever will he do with foolish Quinn? Will we ever know what Harrison's back story is? Do tell, please!  Is Olivia resigned to wait for Fitz or will she continue to carry on with Jake in an attempt to level her feelings for Fitz?  And how are they going to distract from, disguise or include Kerry Washington's Love on Top for the rest of this part of the season?

Remote?  Check!  Nice Pinot Noir?  Check!  Grown woman sized sexy wine glass?  Check!  It's almost Thursday, people!!   

Sister Jean & Baby Sister Betty

I.  HATE.  THE.  GYM.  There!  I said it and I feel no shame, either.  I have just never been the kind of person that enjoys working out.  No shade for those of us that dig working out.  Ya'll share your intense desire for working out with whoever will listen and get excited about your latest nutritious and delicious meal when you describe it to people like me.  Yeah, that's nice.  That's just NOT me.  I was that kid in middle school that would conveniently leave my PE clothes at home and lose points for not "dressing."  Just thinking about sweating out my freshly pressed hair then was enough to keep me sitting on the bench until the bell rang.  And that has not changed much some 30 years later.  The stanky smell most gyms have that is a mixture of fabric softener, cologne and sweat that assaults my senses when I walk into the gym is enough to get the, "I Smell Shit Poop Face" from me. But!  I know I must make an effort to work out for my health and it's good for my 40 something year old body.  Besides, there is no way I am giving "The Man" my hard earned dollars every month without working out at least a little bit.  Please!

When I do make it to the gym it's because I literally roll out of bed at 5:30am with them singing sanging girls, Mary Mary sanging me awake with that song, "Thank You!"  PRAISE BREAK!  "It could have been me (thank you), outdoors (thank you) with no food (thank you) and no clothes (thank you) or left alone (thank you) without a friend (thank you) or just another number (thank you) with a tragic end (thank you) but you didn't see fit (thank you) to let none of these things be (thank you) cause every day by your power (thank you) you keep on loving me (thank you) and I wanna say, "Thank you Lord for all you've done for me!"  I fumble through the dark putting on my gym clothes, hurriedly brush my teeth, wipe a towel across my face and get on my way.  Well, not too long ago as I sat on the stationary bike to get through the cardio portion of my workout I noticed an older black woman on the bike next to me.  She is likely in her early 70's or so, dressed in a Haynes thick sweatshirt with Haynes thick sweatpants of a different color, those black orthopedic shoes with white tube socks topped off with a royal majestic blue night bonnet.  You know, the kind with the delicate white ruffles that wrap your face?  Yes.  She.  Did.  *blank stare*  I give her the, "Good morning, mother!" smile, she smiles back pleasantly enough and continues looking straight ahead.  No talking.   No grunting.  Just getting it in!  I have affectionately named her, "Sister Jean" in my mind.  She looks like a Jean, you know?  

"Me and You, Us Never Part.  Makidada."

I looked to my right and noticed another older black woman close in age to Sister Jean on a stationary bike.  She is dressed just like Sister Jean but is wearing a brighter Haynes sweatshirt, her Haynes thick sweatpants kinda sorta maybe match, is sporting those white orthopedic shoes with white tube socks and guess what?  She, too is rocking that royal majestic blue night bonnet.  You know, the kind with the delicate white ruffles that wrap your face?  Yes.  She.  Did.  Too. *confused blank stare*  She looks just like Sister Jean only a little shorter and a little rounder.  I give her the same, "Good morning, mother!" smile and she greets me with kind eyes.  She stays focused on her workout, too.  No talking.  No grunting.  Just getting it in!  I have affectionately named her, "Baby Sister Betty" in my mind.  She looks like she's the younger of the two and Betty is a nice enough name, I figure.  

I typically complete my workout before Sister Jean and Baby Sister Betty.  Hell, let's be honest...I rush through to get the hell out of there most times!  I nod their way as I walk out the door just in time for me to see the sunrise to my right on my way to my car in the parking lot.  A beautiful start to a day...

One early morning while riding the stationary bike I noticed Baby Sister Betty was missing.  Sister Jean was going about her business completing her workout and I could not help but ask her, "Where is your workout buddy?"  The first words I had spoken to her all this time.  She seemed a bit surprised that I noticed and said, "Oh!  That's my sister.  She has a doctor's appointment today and decided to stay home.  She's alright, baby and will be back tomorrow."  They are sisters!  Do you know I was actually relieved?  I instantly felt worried for Baby Sister Betty when I did not see her slowly prodding around the gym in her royal majestic blue night bonnet.  In my mind I imagined she and Sister Jean were as close as 2 peas in a pod.  They are probably from a large family with plenty of siblings and likely slept in the same bed together head to feet as little girls inseparable from the start.  My fantasy of them reminds me of what I want so much for my sisters and I and seeing them every day I get to the gym is such a delight.  Their bond is evident to anyone that see's them together and we should all be so lucky to have that kind of familial companionship as we get on in age.

And so this morning, when I silenced Mary Mary's voice reminding me just how good God has been, I did not hesitate to roll out of bed.  I happily fumbled around the dark to get "dressed" in my PE clothes.  I opened my eyes wide as I brushed my teeth before pinning my bangs out of my face to salvage a tiny bit of my hairdo.  And when I walked into that stanky gym, I waved at Sister Jean and Baby Sister Betty finding them right where they always are.  On the stationary bike.  Not talking.  Not grunting.  Just getting it in!  

Bless their hearts.

Side note…my first ENTIRE draft of this blog was accidentally deleted as a result of my enjoying the strongest bottle of Sangria I have ever had in my natural life.  *hiccup*

A Daughter's Father Should...

I have fantasies about him and the possibilities of my secret wishes where he is concerned are grand, grand, grand!  Oh, he is tall and dark and has the brightest, whitest teeth that ease into a smile that is comforting and mischievous all at once.  His favorite pair of sneakers are low top white Converse (never dirty) that he usually pairs with a relaxed set of jeans that are tattered and worn.  He enjoys traveling and never forgets to bring me a rare find whenever he is back home.  So many that I have a bookshelf at home lined with these treasures! He prefers me to be adventurous and spontaneous, which I only manage when I am with him.  He is protective of me and can't help telling his friends about the latest thing I have done.  He answers my calls whenever he sees our picture pop up on his iPhone that I insisted he buy.  He surprises me every so often with a card in the mail just when I need a little extra love.  He is a praying man but can do without the 2 hour Sunday morning services that interfere with him reading the paper over a cup of coffee (with a lil' 'sumthin in it).  My girlfriends delight when he's around because he has a way with the softer sex.  My boyfriends can't imagine they will ever be able to compete with him.    

*sigh*  I wish I knew him, you know?  I mean…any little bitty teeny tiny thing about him would be soooo cool to know.  I wish I knew how he looks.  I wish I knew how he smells.  I wish I knew how his voice sounds.  I wish I knew what he would think of me if he knew me.  I just wish I knew.  Something.  Anything.  About my biological father.  I would not know him if he walked up to me, hugged me real tight and inquired about my day.  I have never met him.  I don't know if he knows I exist.  I don't know his name.  I don't know where he is from.  I don't know who his people are.  I.  Just.  Don't.  Know.  

There is plenty of talk everywhere about the value of fathers in the lives of their daughters, specifically for black girls that become black women. Based on my experience, I concur completely and I know a few things to be true for me, a grown black woman that did not benefit from knowing or having her biological father in her life.  I know that the absence of my biological father in my life has interfered with my managing healthy, mature and loving relationships with men.  I know I have struggled with believing I am enough at times because I do not know my biological father.  I know I have to work very hard to soften parts of my heart that have been hardened as a result of not knowing my biological father.  

But!  I am more fortunate than others of us that share my childhood story.  I have been blessed to have an unlikely heaven sent father figure find his way into my life and my world is SO much better with him in it.  I get to see his example of manhood in the world and look for that in men I allow in my life, romantic or platonic.  And I am grateful for that.  Yet and still the consequences of not knowing my biological father for 43 years are deep, far reaching and life altering.   Every single day I am working against allowing his absence to take a stronghold on my life and it is no easy task.  I wonder often what kind of person I would have become had I known my birth father as a child?  How would my choices have been different?  Would my journey have been smoother?  Would my accomplishments have been greater?  Would my burdens have been lighter? 

Many, many times I have imagined what I would have wanted to hear from my biological father if he were present in my life as a little ashy brown girl.  An article I stumbled upon a while ago where the author said she asked her baby girls what they needed to hear more often from their Daddy summed it up nicely.  This is what her brown babies said they wanted to hear from their Daddy:

"I love you.”

“You look beautiful today.”

“You’re going to do great today.”

“I’ll always love you no matter what you do.”

“You can talk to me about anything.”

“Having you was one of the best days of my life.”

We better listen to our children!  While the author believes the father of their little black girls to be amazing and awesome and mighty, she still discovered there was more he could do to support the healthy development of their women children.  Black fathers using their words to affirm their love for their daughters..out loud and in their faces…can't be underestimated.  That simple demonstration is the best example of what we can have in the men we will grow to love.  That daily pouring of affirmation into our fragile cup of self esteem that is at risk whenever we step foot out of our protective, loving homes is just what we need.   

At 43 years old, I am certain my life experiences in love, work & the world in general would have been vastly different if I heard even 1 or 2 of these 6 things from a biological father I have never met & likely does not even know I exist.  And even still, I love him more than he will ever know.  At least the idea of him.     

I Got 99 Problems But Keeping My Happy Ain't One!

Have you ever had a moment where for no particular reason at all you are just overcome with a feeling of peace and happiness?  It just happens upon you.  I experienced that very thing the other day and I slowed down a bit and went with the feeling.  I put aside the worry of what was going to happen the next minute, what I had to attend to the next day and just went with that feeing.  And to my surprise that feeling has lingered with me and I realized something.  I am in a good place in my life right now.  I am happy!  Just...happy.  And it is an awesome, super, fabulous, wonderful feeling!  Especially when you know what it feels like to not be happy and I know that feeling very, very well.  

Don't get me wrong, though.  It's not that I do not have things happening in and around my life that threaten to rob me of my happiness.  Nah…there is plenty of that to go around for everyone, including me.  But!  I have decided to guard my personal happiness like that German Shepherd named, "King" (every 'hood baby remembers that damn dog from their childhood) would guard his owner's front yard.  My happiness is mine.  It is my right to be happy.  And she, he and even they can't have it.  

It is a conscious choice to be happy in our lives and an even more deliberate choice to keep that happiness.  I figured a good place to start would be taking the time to look around and name all the reasons we have to be happy.  And come back to those reasons when we are struggling to keep our happy.  With that inspiration, I grabbed my MacBook Pro and came up with 50 reasons to be happy (took a bit of effort when I got to #38 )...  

1. The smell of a newborn baby's breath
2. Loud music
3. The warmth of the sun on the back of my neck
4. Laughter
5. Books, books & more books
6. The New York Times on Sunday
7. Hand clapping & foot stomping at church (We don't need no music!)
8. Crab.  Lots of crab!
9. A juicy & well seasoned ribeye steak
10. An ice cold glass of Pepsi
11. Sitting on the grass in the sun

    

    The older I get, the more true this is.

12. Outdoor concerts on a sunny day
13. Easter!
14. Lipgloss
15. Little black boys with fresh haircuts
16. A nice, long & hot bath
17. Passionate kisses
18. Catching a really good sale…score!
19. Peet's White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha
20. Mid day naps
21. Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight jeans
22. Live band music
23. An “A HA!” Moment
24. Rocking out during my morning commute
25. Making love
26. Hearing Ziggy drink water out of his water bowl. Weird, huh?
27. Sitting on my balcony in the sun
28. Slushees from Sonic
29. Whole Foods granola
30. New carwash
31. A day at work with no meetings 
32. Holding newborn babies
33. Snuggling With Ziggy
34. My baby sister's laugh
35. Swimming
36. Warm summer's evening breezes
37. Puppies
38. Street fairs
39. Any song by Earth Wind & Fire.  Any!
40. The smell of first rain on the concrete
41. Finding money in my jean pockets
42. Fragrant candles
43. Getting my hair washed
44. Macarons
45. Tulips & sunflowers
46. Laughing until my cheeks hurt
47. UGGS!!!
48. Pedicures
49. Big hoop silver earrings 
50. Dancing in the living room solo

No matter what is the matter there is always, always, always something to be happy about.  Even if we have to squint our eyes and peer real close to see it, it's there.  Now, back to my list.  #51...