Buy Your Own Damn Flowers! And Dinner! And Chocolates!

"Love & War Tuesdays"

Tuesday's blog is reserved for discussions about acknowledging our desire for love, positioning ourselves for love to find us, risking vulnerability to nurture and maintain love and surviving love lost to find the strength to love again.

When I was a little girl, I remember getting on my Mama's nerves  begging her to give me some change around this time of year.  Dollars stuffed in my socks in the bottom of my sneakers, I would high tail it to Thrifty's and buy those cute little Valentine's Day cards to give to my friends.  You know the cards I am talking about?!?  Those tiny cards that came with the thin envelopes in a flat box with a cute cartoon theme?  I would lick each envelope, seal it closed and scribble the names of my classmates on every single one giddy with excitement to get to school and give them out. And the best part?  I don't remember feeling worried or sad back then about whether or not I would get a card for Valentine's Day because everyone got a card.  Every year my teacher would hand out Valentine's Day cards in class and I would sit perfectly still, back straight in my seat with my hands folded on my desk just waiting for her to gently place a card on my desk.  Just for me!  With my name in her perfect handwriting on the envelope!  That night I would dump all the Valentine's Day cards from my classmates and teacher onto my bed and read them again and again.  Sound familiar?    

   

And then we grow up. *sigh* Fast forward to adulthood and depending on the year, that once fun special day just ain't the same now.  For some of us Valentine's Day feels commercialized and we refuse to spend one thin dime showing someone how we feel about them on "that" day.  I guess I can see their point.  Think of all the teddy bears that will be tossed to the side the next day to collect dust in the corner of a closet next to all the other stuffed animals, the chocolates that will be picked through and half eaten (I bite into one after the other looking for the nuts & chews) and the dozens of roses that will wilt within days (...you better use those rose petals for a bath after a long day...).  For others of us it is not a day we look forward to celebrating simply because it serves to remind us of the love we do not have, the love we lost or the love we want.  #been there

Well, I say to HELL with all of that!  Why not make a different choice this Valentine's Day and be sweet to you?  Love.  On.  YOU!  Do something that will leave you feeling good all over just like Stephanie Mills used to sing about.  Maybe make someone else's day a little sweeter by remembering them on Friday!  Why not...

• Treat yourself to a pedicure at a nail shop that has those fancy spa massage chairs (choose the bright red polish this time)
• Invite your girlfriends out for dinner, cocktails or dessert in celebration of that sisterly love every woman should know at least once in their lifetime
• Find a swanky bar, order a cocktail for one, cross your legs and enjoy your own company
• Purchase a bunch of the prettiest flowers you can find and put them someplace where you can't miss them
• Luxuriate in a fragrant warm bath filled with bubbles and use sweet smelling soap from your head to your pretty toes
• Fathers, give your daughters something pretty and thoughtful for Valentine's Day that tells them how special they are to the man that matters the most to them…their Daddy!
• Take the time to tell a couple you admire how their love and commitment to each other is beautiful to witness
• Send a good girlfriend a text, email, card telling her how grateful you are to have her in your life.  Imagine her delight when she pulls that card out of her mailbox and sees that YOU thought of her!  #postalworkersgottaeattoo
• Prepare a fancy meal for yourself using the good dishes, with candles, a good bottle of red and a sinfully delicious dessert 
• Mothers, leave a love note for your son in a place he will find it reminding him how proud you are of the young man he is becoming

Whether we are floating on air in love this Valentine's Day, recovering from our last love, trying to figure out if THIS one is love or taking a much needed break from love…we can make Valentine's Day what we want it to be.  This year, I choose to have it be about loving, valuing and appreciating who I am in the world.  I choose to have it be about finding and celebrating the love all around me.  

Friday will be here before you know it, so what are you doing this Valentine's Day?  I have a few cards to mail and cocktails to order...