Ain't Nobody Got Time For That! And That. And That.

It is a new year and a good opportunity to clean house.  While I know I have limited influence on what happens outside of my little corner of the world, if I did I would certainly rid us all of a few things.  Thank you, kindly!  Ladies & gentlemen (with a dramatic flick of my magical wand) in no particular order, I give you:

"Faith Margaret's List of Things That Need to Stay in 2013!" 

*whistles & applause*

1. Twerking.  According to dictionary.com, twerk is defined as follows
"(verb). to dance to hip-hop or pop music in a very sensual way typically by thrusting or shaking the buttocks and hips while in a squatting or bent-over position."  *sigh*  For some reason every time I see a woman tweaking in public for the entire world to see I immediately get that, "I smell s&#t!" expression on my face that we all have seen on other folks' faces.   It's just so inappropriate to me & I clutch my pearls every single time.  Now, I'm all for a little show in the privacy of one's bedroom or some strip club somewhere but that's just about it. Little babies twerking. Old folks twerking.  Little girls twerking.  Men folk twerking. Enough already! 

2. Miley Cyrus. What the hell did her daddy do that has pissed her off so much with him? Girl…BYE! 

3. Senseless killings.  Anyone that lives in your average urban area can remark about the random killings in their community that leave mothers and grandmothers weeping in the streets over the untimely death of their babies.  It's almost as if dying before the age of 25 is a hazard of living in certain environments and we have become calloused against the inhumanity of it all.  And when some of us are faced with risk of death for looking a certain way when in a certain part of town, we are reminded of just how far to go race relations must progress in this country.  Painfully sad. 

4. No New Friends.  It breaks my heart to hear folks say this. Who doesn't need a new friend to chill with when your old friends are getting on your damn nerves?!?  That don't even make no sense!  Go get you some new friends! 

5. Grown women fighting on reality tv. I promise I don't personally know one grown woman that would commence to scrapping in a public place. And if I did I would replace her with what? A. New. Friend. 

6. These random hiatus' for the hit television drama, "Scandal."  I'm a BIG Scandal fan and to be made to suffer through a month of, "Oh, Lord Jesus what just happened?!?" is simply unacceptable. Like all the other Scandal loyals I am waiting with baited breath to see how the Vice President is going to cleanse herself of a horrific offense, if Cyrus' husband is really that weak, if Jake can be as formidable a Command as Daddy Dearest, if Quinn will snap and blow everyone to bits and if Olivia's mother will be dealt with for being a spy and fooling every damn body!  Oh!  And how is Shonda going to hide Kerry Washington's pregnancy? I digress.  (stay tuned for "Scandalous Thursdays" right on this here blog)

7. Having to pay for grocery bags. Almost every trip to any store in California ends with the clerk saying, "Do you need a bag?" which really means, "We 'bout to charge you for this crappy plastic bag!" You know the ones your grandmother and aunties hoard under their kitchen sink that they grab to put any and everything in?  Yep!  Those.  Now I have to begrudgingly fork over my 10 cents or juggle my wares in my arms as I shuffle pissed off to my car because I left my reusable bags in the trunk of my car. Again! GIMME A DAMN BAG! 

8. Kanye & Kim. Really?!? I'm all for love and having what we want but is that what they really want? *scratching my head* 

9. Straight men saying "No homo."  Not only is that silliness offensive, it's a bit suspect if you have to say it. 

10. The phrase, "Turn Up." Man!!  I want to tell folks every celebration is not a "Turn Up" event nor is every selfie an opportunity to announce to one & all that you are about to "Turn Up!" How 'bout you "Turn Down" and have several seats? How 'bout that?!? 

Whew!  Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm sure I missed a few.  Feel free to add to my list or do your part to rid us of 1 though 10 in our daily life.  LOL  Or you can advocate for those one or two things on my list that you want to follow us into 2014.  We can have what we want and manage to laugh about getting it, too!