I'm A GROWNNN Woman...

"Ooooo!  I can't wait 'til I'm grown!"  Remember saying that or something just like that when you were a kid?  It usually came out of your mouth through clenched teeth with your arms crossed defiantly across your chest because of something your Mama or Daddy would not let you do.  No?  Maybe?  Well, I most certainly do!  I can't tell you how many times I muttered those words under my breath when I was a child (I certainly wasn't fool enough to let my mother hear me say them).  I wasn't that damn crazy!  Anyways.  It just seemed as if everything that was worth doing you weren't able to do as a kid, you know?  My young mind just assumed all of that would go away once I was "grown."  Well...   

Being grown has it's perks, for sure.  You can go to bed whenever you want and be dead dog tired at work in the morning.  You can choose to not clean your room if you don't mind damn near breaking your neck as you stumble over clothes and shoes in the morning.  You can spend your money on whatever you want and dodge credit collectors when they call.  Persistent little buggers, aren't they?!?  You don't have to do nary a damn thing if that's what your grown heart so desires.  Oh, but there's more!  At some point your grown up self has to toss those things to the side that make absolutely no sense for a grown up to do, much less a grown woman, even though you can do them.  

So!  I started thinking about just what I am too damn grown to do at 43 years old and this is what I came up with (imagined one night recently when I stayed up late to watch "Saturday Night Live," WHICH my Mama would not let me do as a child and I vowed I would do when I got "GROWN"):

1.  Giving checks to folks and telling them to not cash them until "such and such" date.  I am better off saying I don't have it or need a little bit more time to pay what I owe.

2.  Making friends with women that like to fight.  Like...'cuss you out, call you out of your name (you know what I am talking about), scratch your face & pull your hair kind of fighting.  What I look like running to a hospital and telling the Attending my girl and I got into it with some hipster, granola eating, Jesus Shoes (aka Birkenstocks) wearing woman at Whole Foods when she cut us in line?

3.  Using the "N word."  Period.  At all.  Can't justify it.  Not buying it.  Just.  Can't.

4.  Committing to do things I do not want to do for whatever reason I do not want to do them.  And I do not have to offer an explanation, either.  No means no!    

5.  Avoiding eating alone or going to the movies alone or doing anything in public alone for fear of how it might "look."  A little "Faith Time" is sometimes just what's needed and if we can't enjoy our own company?  Well, that's just sad.

6.  Waiting for a man to think enough of me to buy me flowers "just because."  Treating myself to something beautiful every now and then is a good thing.  Go buy you some flowers, girl!

7.  Allowing a relationship...any kind of a relationship...to end with angry, bitter words left between the other person and I that came hurling out of my mouth.  You know the kind of words that you wish you could stuff back in your mouth and gulp down before it registers with the other person just how mean and nasty you are being?  Yep!  Those words.    Even if I don't get the same effort in return from that person, it is absolutely worth the humbling to clear my conscience.

8.  Running out of panties because I have not washed clothes.  Fix your face and don't laugh!  Folks actually do this.  Seriously!  That is exactly why I buy panties like bubble gum (and I do love a good wad of sweet, juicy bubble gum) to avoid ever, ever, ever running out of fresh, clean panties.  #shewasheseveryweekend

9.  Refusing to say, "I am sorry…" when I know I am wrong.  Another blog on why it can be so hard for us to apologize is in queue.

10.  Not finding my voice and asking for what I want.  When we were kids we asked for any and everything to the point where our parents would say, "Don't you ask me for anything else!"  What happened to that bravery?  The worst that can happen is the answer is, "No" so then we just think of another way to ask for what we want at another time.  

We all have to put on our big girl panties (or shoes) and get on with it sooner or later, right?  Recognizing when there is room for improvement is a good thing.  Especially when we are grown!  Like Yonce' says, "I'm a GROWNNNNN woman.  I could do whatever I want!  Whatever it IS!"  *Side note:  anyone else besides me fascinated with how she manages to growl through the words of her songs?*