Cross That Off the List!

Three years ago when my 40th birthday came around I was excited!  For me it marked a major turning point in my adult life at that time and I felt absolutely, positively, without a doubt liberated.  I was ready to get my "Grown Woman" on, baby and I wanted to be sure I knew whatever I was supposed to know at 40!  I mean...whatever that was. *shoulder shrug*  So, imagine my delight when I happened upon an article in some magazine that offered a numbered accounting of what the author thought we all should be able to do after living and breathing for 4 decades.  I grabbed my pen and began to furiously cross items off the list that I thought I knew how to do.  Some came to me easily, others I struggled with and some I had not even begun to address.  I am still working on my list at 43!  Dig this:

20 Things Everyone Should Master By Age 40

1.  How to delegate.  That's nothing since I am a Leo and it's my absolute right to tell folks what to do. Mmmm hmmmm…check!

2.  How to comfort someone.  It's my instinct to take care of people & actually part of my 9 to 5.  Check!

3.  How to spot a good opportunity.   I have a habit of sitting back and letting opportunity find me, so there is very little looking on my part.  That is entirely connected to my not dreaming BIG enough in my life.  I'm sure I have missed out on fabulous possibilities in the process but if the Lord says the same good stuff is coming in the future, anyhow.  First one for the "Gotta Master" List.

4.  How to make conversation at parties.  I am a textbook Leo  (my picture might just be next to any description of a Leo) and Leos love to talk as evidenced by this blog, right?  Check!

5.  How to end a friendship.  Bowing out of relationships (platonic and love) gracefully is a lifelong challenge for most of us and I am no different.  Sometimes it's easier to just let friendships fade away or cuss someone the hell out to get it over with already.  Another one for the "Gotta Master" List.

6.  How to stay in touch.  Handwritten notes or an occasional card in the mail are nice gestures and I keep a stash nearby with good old postage stamps for friends and family near and far.  I've got this one covered.  Check!  #mailmenandmailwomengottaeattoo

7.  How to not sweat the small stuff.  Now this right here?  This right here?!?  Lifelong issue for me.  I am a worrier by nature so I am constantly sweating the small stuff.  If I could master this one the other 19 things would be a breeze!  Adding to the "Gotta Master" List.

8.  How not to embarrass yourself at karaoke.  What's the point of doing karaoke if you don't embarrass yourself and everyone with you?  Please!  I mean, I am not trying to be the next winner of "American Idol," right?  I am making an executive decision to remove this task from the list & last weekend I practiced with a moving rendition of Beyonce's, "Drunk In Love."  *clearing my throat with a "Me me me me meeeeeeee…"

9.  How to make friends–at any age.  It seems like that cat, Drake is on to something according to a lot of folks with his idea of "no new friends."  A good number of us feel the only true friends we can have are folks that have known us since we were little ashy, skinny kids running flat footed across playgrounds.  How limiting is that?  One can never have too many friends that meet all kinds of different needs.  Who knows…new friendships may be made from this blog!  See the, "Friends, How Many Of Us Have Them?" blog from months ago.  Got this one covered.  Check!

10.  How to forgive yourself.  We can be our own worst critics, right?  Not forgiving ourselves leads to us punishing ourselves and denying ourselves the joy that we deserve simply by living and breathing every day.  Another one for the "Gotta Master" List.

11.  How to tell a secret.  I fancy myself a bit of a storyteller and secrets can make good stories, baby (when the names of the innocent are changed, of course)!  Check!

12.  Simple ways to look polished.  Discovering my personal style is something I want to explore.  You won't find me leaving the house looking a hot mess but putting together "looks" is just not my thing.  Hmmm...I might need to put this one on my newly created, "Maybe I Do, Maybe I Don't"  Want To Master List.  *shoulder shrug*

13.  How to let go of anger.  I have been working on this for years and I have made good progress in this area.  Check!

14.  How to say goodbye to a loved one.  People have to die.  I get that.  I do.  I just do not like it.  One bit.  In the past 2 years I have experienced the deaths of 2 people I loved dearly and both deaths shook me to my core.  I have yet to figure this one out.  This one goes to the top of the, "Gotta Master" List.

15.  How to know when to quit.  If I have done my very best and I know I have done my very best, I feel comfortable surrendering my will to the situation and moving on.  In the words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" Check!  Side note…hopefully she patented that saying, huh?  

16.  How to listen better.  I know if I am doing most of the talking I am more than likely not listening.  Am I the only one that jumps to offering solutions when others are sharing their problems?  Damn!  Another one for the "Gotta Master" List.

17.  How to get past emotional pain.  Just like the anger mastery, I have been working on this for years and I have made good progress in this area.  But every new emotional pain is different, huh?  Hmmmm…maybe sorta kinda maybe check!

18.  How to buy great wine.  If Moscato counts as a great bottle of wine then this one is done, done, done!  But, I have a feeling it's a bit more expansive than the $5.00 bottles of Moscato I enjoy from the local grocery or drug store.  I am still trying to grow my appreciation for a good red wine.  Another one for the "Gotta Master" List.  Side note:  find that E-40, Fonzerelli, Earl Stevens Mangoscato...

19.  How to laugh at life.  What's that old saying about having to laugh sometimes to keep from crying? Yep!  That one!  Check!

20.  How to have more fun having sex.  We are all grown, so don't act brand new.  Practice makes perfect, right?  What better item to keep on that "Gotta Master List?"  *scribbling a star next to this one in bright, bold pink ink*

Looks like I have some work to do.  Good work but work just the same.  All a part of my journey to having what I want.  What do you have to work on along your journey to having what you want?